About that F word
When I first discovered what feminism was, as a teenager, it seemed very simple to me. That I should not be treated any less than a boy of my age and capabilities.
I remember once back in A ‘levels, one of the career counsellors I had said during an ongoing discussion on the rise of feminism in the west, “Apples and oranges cannot be equal. How can we treat women equally? Treating equally would mean I start hitting women the same way I hit my fellow men, is that going to be okay?” His words gave me pause and I started to wonder whether that was what feminism really demanded? And over the years I’ve discovered that, this isn’t just one person’s mentality. A lot of people, men and women alike, think that’s what feminism is. And that is one thing I would like to clear up in this discussion.
Feminism does not claim that men and women are the “same”. When you give the analogy of apples and oranges, you’re making a very wrong comparison, and a very bad argument against feminism. Feminism does not demand that women and men fight the same battles, or dead lift equal amount of weights, it is not saying women have testosterone or vice versa.
What feminism fights for is right of women to be treated as humans (too) who, although form more than half of the population of this planet, are not even empowered enough to use a quarter of its resources. It demands for a right to be able to feel safe in the skin God has gifted women with, to not be denied what they’ve earned, to be given in accordance with their capabilities, to not be denied opportunities and treated as an inferior being simply on the basis of the number of X chromosomes they were born with.
Another thing we very often see compared in arguments against feminism in Pakistan is the division of labour between men and women. “Khaana khud garam krlo” (heat the food yourself), a feminist slogan that got the attention of many when it went viral on social media platforms a while back in Pakistan, got so many interesting retorts, almost all of them asking women to do the hard-physical jobs men do alone if they want men to do what was implied in the slogan. It is very conveniently forgotten though that we live in the 21st century, where machines have actually replaced most of the “hard physical” jobs being alluded to here. In today’s age where so many households have both the husband and wife working jobs requiring equal amounts of effort, why is it that all the responsibility of all the housework is put on one?
I will agree that there are so many things that men do that women can’t. That isn’t the problem. Because there are also so many things that women do, that men can’t. The problem is, men actually practically receive what they’ve earned due to their capabilities in the status quo. Do women though? Is there any equity that prevails between the two sexes in case of this division of labour? Is each given fairly according to what they do?
Also, so many people, especially when we talk about feminism in Pakistan, say things like, women have so much respect in our country and religion, what more do they want? And I would agree with all of them. Yes, on paper, women do have many rights in Pakistan but in the practical sense, do they? It always escapes me, why women are expected to fulfil all of their duties practically, when giving them these rights is confined to speeches on Women’s Day? Create a country that our religion has demanded for women, actually give us the rights that Islam has asked you to give, and then maybe this argument would be worth considering.
“We let women get the roti first in line for tandoor, if you want equality then stand in the line as it is, between men, is that okay?” (First of all, *a very judgemental* Really? Is getting rotis first such a big deal that you chose to make it an argument against all of the disrespect and injustice women face here?) To answer the question though, yes, we could actually stand in the line, if there wasn’t the danger of being groped and assaulted if we did. The purpose of creating that “other” line isn’t the immense respect Pakistanis have for women, it is to allow them to keep them safe from these very Pakistanis or at the least give them a sense of security (however false). That “line” is the very reason we need feminism here.
And actually, all this talk of equality and fairness is a very “modern” idea considering women in this country are living in conditions worse than the women of stone age lived in. Because at least during that time the predators were animals.
The reason I chose to answer such basic questions and arguments against feminism in this discussion is, that this is the ground reality of feminism in Pakistan at the end of the second decade of the 21st century. Feminism has barely grown past it’s very first wave here, for the vast majority of people. Hopefully though, there’s always hope, that maybe our minds will grow exponentially in the imminent future and we’ll make this discussion more complex.
